Alright, fine. We're back.

It's funny - at least half of the time, I think of myself as the 'We' of Stella and myself. It makes sense. If children exist in relationship to their caregivers, it follows that we be transformed to exist in relationship with them. It's a little different, because we parents could choose to separate from our children and exist separately, but not without losing something, some part of ourselves. I couldn't make such a choice. The cost would be unfathomable.

So, I haven't blogged on Friendster out of annoyance with their obtrusive ad placement, but I guess I'd rather connect with people. So I'll be doing this in addition to myspace. Honestly, I don't know why everyone thinks myspace is so freaking great. It's okay, but I was expecting some kind of revolution in interpersonal connection-making. Not so.

Life is good, as ever. Stella is 9 months old. She's a very big girl. Her health is excellent, and her development is going great. Stella is amazing and taking care of her is the rapture of my life. She's napping at this moment, we'll see for how long. I'm trying to figure out the plan for today. We must go outside - the weather is beautiful.

I'm finding that our routines are evolving again as she grows and as I become more engaged with my own life. I'll be training Sunday school teachers at our church in a new curriculum at the end of the summer. We're making a lot of changes, so it'll be a lot of work. And then I'll be starting school again - internship, supervision, meetings,etc. We'll be hiring a sitter for Stella, and maybe I can get a part-time job. We'll see. It's hard to tell at this point. I'm looking forward to re-engaging in academic and professional life.

THIS FUCKING GOVERNMENT! I continue to be amazed and frightened and deeply saddened by how many people's lives around the world, and really, the very planet itself, are being damaged and ruined by the greed of a relatively small number of people. Greed and entitlement. So dangerous. I've been listening to Democracy Now on the radio (WLUW 88.7 in Chicago, 9 am), and they were discussing the situation in New Orleans. My God - how can people treat each other this way? Demolishing low income housing when people are already living in the streets and abandoned buildings! Supporting privatization all of the schools - THE FIRING ALL THE PUBLIC SCHOOL EMPLOYEES! Though, really, the same things are happening here in Chicago, just more slowly.

I'm not even going to go into what's happening in Iraq. Just to say that if a country could have a conscience, ours should be crippled with profound shame. Not just the government, but the people for passivity, acquiesence and apathy.

I'm planning to get back into the development of my pregnancy and sexuality workshops. I have a friend who is going to design a media package for me, so that I have professional materials to use for correspondence and communications. I was discouraged that my initial workshop didn't go as well as I'd hoped, but as my very clever husband Ian has pointed out, one should not give up because one doesn't succeed the first time, and also that business people often fail several times before succeeding. So I'm going to keep trying - I just need to take my time and gather more resources.

Well, Stella needs changing and bathing, so I'll bid you all farewell. I'll post some pictures soon.

Love, peace,

Atena

Comments

[Surgeon]

I f*ing love you. Oh so much. Hey, I want to talk to you about pumping...breastmilk that is. I can't believe what a champ you are. It's such intensely hard work. Again, I f*ing love you.